struggles


 

Today I find myself in a dilemma, One of my children has decided to open as it were a can of worms. Maybe it was my coffin. With a vituperate anger, accusing me of all manner of things reminding me of the man I once was. Shit! I can’t be angry because some though not all of what he said was true. It isn’t now but in his eyes I am still the same old devil. He has that privilege , my dilemma is that I don’t know the old man any more. So! I am not disturbed, or feeling guilty, but truly am at a loss. How come I didn’t know all this at the time, then I could change maybe. but no not till now.

So this to all who knew me then I am sorry you had to experience me as a young man. I wish you could know if nothing else, my heart to-day. If I had known how I would have loved you much more and made sure you all knew it. Alas that’s over , so lets shoot for the now. I love you all very much and my hope for you is that you now your highest good, for your life, in this life. Maybe I can cheer you on.

As for me I am stuck with the past, but I live in the now and presently look for my highest good.

I believe my greatest hurt in all this is that my child is the one who suffers and there is nothing I can do to help.

It’s curious how the enemy of our soul comes to us through the ones we love and trust the most.

No harm No foul.

 

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~ by spiritualhypster on 09/25/2012.

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